How to Bugger Up Mice

Sunday.

Seems like it isn't the loss of teeth that causes the memory loss problems, it's the related inability to chew that's responsible.

As far back as March 2000, the BBC's Health Page alerted the World to a New Scientist magazine report that Japanese researchers led by Dr Minoru Onozuka, of Gifu University School of Medicine, had tested this theory about chewing and memory on laboratory mice, genetically altered to age prematurely.

The mice exhibited signs of ageing, such as cataracts, hair loss and failing memory.

The mice then had their molar teeth extracted so that they could eat but not chew. The "scientists" tested the mice's memories by recording how long they took to locate a hidden platform in a water maze. They found that young mice swiftly learned to locate the platform, regardless of whether they had molars or not. Older mice with a full set of teeth were only slightly slower.

However, old mice whose molars had been removed were unable to remember how to find the platform, and consistently headed off in the wrong direction.

Which goes to prove that genetically modifying mice to make them age prematurely and removing their molars to stop them chewing food, hidden in a water maze... buggers them up... completely.

Teeth affect memory

Saturday.

Australia's Herald Sun has further medical research goodies to report.

This time it's Swedish research so it must be true.

When your dentist pulls a tooth, some of your memory could be yanked out at the same time, according to a new Swedish study to be presented in Stockholm on 30 October.

"Teeth appear to be of the utmost importance to our memories," Jan Bergdahl, an associate psychology professor at the Umeaa University in northern Sweden, a dentist and one of the authors of the study, said today.

The study, part of a broader memory study called Betulastudien, followed 1,962 people aged 35 to 90 starting in 1988, comparing the memories of those who still had teeth and those who had pulled all their teeth (obviously forgot they were supposed to let the dentist do it) and were using dentures.

And now for the most astonishing part of the study.

"When people have no teeth their memories are clearly worse than when they have teeth," Mr Bergdahl said.

He went on to say, "Animal tests have shown that pulling teeth severs nerves to the brain," and pointed out that the new Swedish study could dramatically change dental care for the elderly.

It could also open up the way for hoards of toothless old boggers to sue their dentists for causing brain damage - assuming that they can remember who their dentist is.

Recent Medical Research

Friday.

Interlude over.

It's official - enforcing Western Democracy on Iraq is far more hazardous to the health of innocent parties than passive smoking!

According to the BBC there may have been around 100,000 civilian deaths in Iraq since the "coalition" invasion. " A study in the Lancet said the majority of the victims were women and children killed due to military activity."

The British Medical Association has conservatively estimated that secondhand smoke causes at least 1,000 deaths a year in the UK. "It is no longer acceptable for the UK Government to rely on voluntary measures to protect the health of the public. Passive smoking kills and every year they delay, 1000 people die."

Which is the more serious issue? Get your priorities right will you.

I am sick to the back teeth of sanctimonious people in authority who legislate about what I can or can't do at home while at the same time they are active in bringing misery and pain to thousands of people abroad. What a bunch of hypocrites.

MILT BOGS AUSTRALIA

It's also good to note that Australia, another "Coalition" member has vital research to report.

Sling It & Combat Stiffness

According to the Herald Sun Professor Ajay Rane, head of obstetrics and gynaecology at James Cook University has found that Westerners can't pee properly because they can't squat. His research, carried out over two years, found that volunteers were falling off the "developing nations" toilets because they could not hold a squat position for more than 30 seconds.

"Equipment called a uroflowmeter was attached to each toilet to collect data such as how fast volunteers could urinate, their maximum speed, average speed, how long it took to attain maximum speed and the volume of urine."

Professor Rane said, "further studies were conducted on 240 school children and this found a person's ability to squat dropped off about the age of 12, when a "stiffness" set in."

Would you care to rephrase that Professor?

SPAM

Got this today

"Our central office has authorized me to send you approv a l
of your mo r t gage based on your application.

Your r a t e is 3.9 percert

Some of our information is missing and we need you to complete....."

What exactly is 3.9 perCert? Just Bog Off will you!

Selmer Mark VI

In 1955 I was given a clarinet. Pa arranged for me to have lessons with a guy called Brian Jarman who played clarinet and alto in a local dance band.

At some stage the guy mentioned "doubling another instrument" and that's when I got a 1937/8 Buescher Aristocrat tenor that one of his friends was selling because he was too ill to play any more. I still have it today.

When I wasn't blowing or carting the Buescher around, I read about saxophones or listened to sax players on record or live when they were on tour in the area: Johnny Hodges, Paul Desmond, Paul Gonsalves, John Coltrane, Sonny Stitt, Gerry Mulligan, Tubby Hayes, Jimmy Skidmore, Tony Coe. These guys' technical ability was often downright intimidating - I couldn't even think that fast. I couldn't even get close and as most of them seemed to play Selmers I always blamed it on the Buescher.

The one exception was Johnny Hodges who didn't need to show how many notes he could get into a bar and he played Buescher. I should have realised it was me and not the instrument and I suppose I did, but it's nice to have an excuse to fall back on.

I had a lesson the day Brian Jarman's brand new Selmer Balanced Action Alto arrived. He let me hold it once but I never got to blow it and that's when my fascination with Selmer began. Trouble was that new Selmers cost too much for me and weren't readily available where I lived. For the next 40 years of pedestrian playing, the desire to own a Selmer remained with me.

One night I spoke to Alan Skidmore after he'd played a Georgie Fame gig. I told him about my Buescher Aristocrat and he said, "Great tone on those, but you'll never play it fast". Selmer Mark VI came up in the conversation and that was it. I had to get one.

New York was full of saxophone shops but I kept getting sidetracked into guitar and bass emporiums, until someone sent me off to Doctor Rick's old shop in Greenwich Village (unfortunately that visit is the only thing I've got in common with Joshua Redman) where I spent a couple of hours feeling totally inadequate.

Then at the top of a flight of stairs I found Roberto's just off Times Square, where you could take a dozen Mark VI's, one after the other into the practice rooms until you found one that got on with you. Hey Joshua Redman has been in there too. Things really are looking up.

I'd spent 40 years dreaming about Selmer Mark VI tenor saxophones and in one day I'd handled and blown more Selmers than I'd ever seen. Bottom notes had always been a problem for me on the Buescher, but not on these Selmers. Having said that, there was no magical transformation - I certainly didn't turn into a sax giant.

I don't think I'll buy another saxophone now... unless it's a soprano... or an alto and I've always hankered after ... a baritone. And another mouthpiece would be good...

Off for a blow, if you know what I mean.

Here's a link to a page that covers lots of sax related points.

Selmer Paris Mark VI page.

Jazz

Wednesday

There isn't and never has been much of a jazz scene round where I live. If you want to see live jazz played by musicians of international recognition on anything like a regular basis you have to travel.

I got into jazz in 1955 through records by the Benny Goodman small groups and Big Band and led to my discovery of Duke Ellington. They were all recordings that my father had listened to during World War 2 when he wasn't working as a radiographer on a Hospital Ship.

My first live jazz experience was a gig by the Humphrey Lyttleton band in 1959, which included Tony Coe, Joe Temperley and Jimmy Skidmore.

Some time after that a branch of the Ronnie Scott club opened up at a local pub, now demolished and replaced by a supermarket. A group of us went along there to see Tubby Hayes a couple of times.

Norman Grantz's J.A.T.P. tours were coming into the UK so we went to those and saw Oscar Peterson, Ella Fitzgerald, the Modern Jazz Quartet, Duke Ellington, Dave Brubeck and Sonny Stitt.

Miles Davis played dates in the early sixties and one with John Coltrane and Cannonball Adderley stands out in my memory as the most moving live gig I have ever been to. Every time I listen to Kind of Blue, Milestones or Two Bass Hit, I'm seventeen again and sitting with the Tubby Hayes band standing up behind us. "We haven't missed a gig man."

I vividly remember a Duke Ellington gig in Dundee, Scotland in 1967. The days when jazz shared the charts with pop bands ended as the world went mad with Beatlemania. My jazz record collection increased in size but the opportunity to sample live jazz decreased dramatically.

Years later, one of my sons went to see local jazz musician Tony Richards play drums with Jimmy and Alan Skidmore. As a result I started looking at the local jazz scene again and went to see Jean Toussaint at a birthday gig for Andy Hamilton. Gigs by Peter King, Spike Robinson, Scott Hamilton and Tal Farlow followed.

In New York I saw Chick Corea, Roy Haynes, Kenny Garrett, Christian McBride and Wallace Roney and later in the week, Randy Brecker, Bob Brookmeyer and Lee Konitz in a tribute to Gerry Mulligan at the Bluenote Club. The guy on the door said that he thought I was the first person to have booked on-line and that it was good to know the system worked.

I rediscovered Stan Tracey and followed him round gigs at the Custard Factory - Birmingham, the Band in the Wall - Manchester, Warwick Arts Centre, Appleby Jazz Festival and a terrific quartet gig in Sheffield's Crucible theatre where Gerard Presencer's spit key seemed to be directly over my right foot and I could have reached out and touched the piano keys from where I sat. It was like having the band in your living room at home - until they turned the main lights back on.

There were four great Dave Holland gigs in Birmingham. Michael Brecker and his brother Randy played Symphony Hall, Andy Sheppard played Birmingham, Warwick and a gig in Wellington, Steve Swallow was at Ronnie Scott's as were Randy Brecker, Terence Blanchard, Joshua Redman, Alan Barnes, where has your website gone? Oh yes.....HERE.....and a Tubby Hayes tribute band. The Ray Brown Trio and Christian McBride Quartet played the same gig at the Barbican in London shortly before Ray Brown died and I finally caught up with Sonny Rollins there last May. I saw John Scofield's Bump there too and Herbie Hancock with Dave Holland.

What amazes me is that all these gigs are very well attended which proves that there is a vast jazz audience out there and yet jazz remains the poor relation when it comes to regular venues and media exposure.

P.S. There are some fine tracks on Ron Carter's website Just open it up and explore or let it run in the background and get on with your work.You could also browse the swing bands on this site that has streams and downloads.

Normal Service Will Be Resumed

Wednesday.

I'd like to switch today off and come back when "normal" service has been resumed. I am in depressed mode.

The Bag Lady Strikes Again

Tuesday.

"I'm a f***ing nursh" was back in the The Hole In The Ground last night.

I don't know where this lady "I'm from A&E, but no one will look after me" is from or what she's done to end up like this but she certainly needs help.

She sits all night next to the ladies' toilet and what's she doing on the way home? Piddling next to a restaurant doorway on a major road into the City centre.

As far as I could see she had had two half pints of lager so what on earth had she been on before she got in the bar? Is she on some sort of prescribed medication that doesn't mix with alcohol?

Whatever she's on - the alcohol is a big mistake because after two or three half pints she's out on the street, with her trousers and knickers down, as a couple of guys walk past her into the restaurant for a meal.

This caring society that we live in, where "Equality is after all a birthright", seems to be making a pretty cack-handed effort in her case.

Hole In The Ground News

The Group that owns the bar has decided that it needs redecorating. I agree with them on that. What I don't agree with is getting the already underpaid staff to do the work in their off duty hours.

This cheapskate company has somehow persuaded bar staff to pick up paint brushes to try to make their own working environment more acceptable! Unbelievable but true. Another cleverly thought out staff bonding exercise or just a rip-off way to save money and improve profit margins?

Professional design teams and decorators - who needs them! My local bar does - that's who.

Early Christmas Present

Raul spotted these health warnings for cigarette packs:-

Now that really is more like it. Thanks Raul.

Minister for Culture

Monday.

I see that in the UK they have a minister for culture - Ms Tessa Jowell. Seems like a great idea.

Then I discover that her department is responsible for the UK Government's proposed new Gambling Bill that will open the way for regional "super-casinos" built by US corporations. Great news for US corporations!

There's opposition to the plan but the Minister for Culture accuses her opponents of snobbery. Well that's always been part of Brit culture hasn't it? They're well known for it and for football hooliganism and binge drinking.

"There's a whiff of snobbery in some of the opposition to new casinos," Ms Jowell said. "People who think they should remain the preserve of the rich; others that find them gaudy and in poor taste; others that don't want the big investment that will come from the US. They are entitled to those views, but they are not entitled to force them on others."

Nice to know that a minister for culture wants "super-casinos" to be there for the poor, not just the rich and thinks that "super-casinos" are neither "gaudy" nor "in poor taste".

If that's her idea of good taste - God help the future of Culture and the Arts in the UK!

She gives her proudest achievement in parliament since 1997 as: "Delivering Surestart, the early-nurture programme for disadvantaged mums and their babies, because equality is a birthright."

If she gets her way these same disadvantaged mums will be able to pop down the local "super-casino".

Equality is after all a birthright.

Peugeot Advert

Sunday

Hey I like the new Peugeot advert - 'Shame'. It wouldn't make me want to buy a Peugeot and I haven't got a clue which model it's advertising but I think whoever designed it has come up with a highly watchable piece of film that appeals to my sense of humour.

The soundtrack is Confusion by The Zutons, a band I would never have heard of if Graham Elderson hadn't alerted me to them last week. It'll be interesting to see if this advert increases the Zutons' commercial pulling power.

I need to see the advert again but am I right in thinking that all the featured cars are Peugeots? Fine thing if Peugeot is suggesting that their earlier models are now objects of ridicule.

Just in case you're worried about our lack of bar choice round here, I met up with Merl Kapram and Raul Duberly in the Bar tonight. Merl's off to London tomorrow to service website clients. Yes we heard that one before Merl.

Raul comes from an old French line - the Du Berly is a bit of a give away. I guess it's been changed to Duberly over the years by people who had problems with the French Connection. Great film that!

The three of us are off to Prague at the beginning of next month, so if you know anyone who wants to meet up we're open to suggestions.

Nothing too exciting you understand but.....

Hey Raul's just got a silver medal for footwork so footwork invitations would be fine. He's not just King of the solder you know!

I've been recording Rock 'N' Roll Stageshow by Bill Haley and The Comets to MP3. It was the first LP I ever owned. You can't buy it now as far as I can see and it's by far their best LP. Only problem is that I'm getting too much bass response when I burn to CD. Any suggestions? I've spent hours taking the clicks out. Have I got to use the Dynamic Limiter?

Too Wet for Dogs Even

Saturday

Just me and the dog here. It's rained for most of the day and the back garden is beginning to resemble a swimming pool.

I should have known it was coming. A guy from the local Water Company phoned a couple of days ago to ask if the garden was flooded. Not yet it isn't but it's wet enough for the dog to refuse to go out. He might only be a dog but he isn't stupid.

Needless to say, up North where my wife has gone, it's dry.

I found a photoblog that made me want to move some place where there are wide horizons. Round here you can only see sky when you look up.

Got to get away - I'm rapidly becoming a recluse. Next thing you know I'll have finger nails a foot long and refuse to go out without a face mask.

I see that crime figures are down. Well I suppose they would be if you rarely catch anybody - or is that just cynicism? Oh I note that figures for gun crime are up. I wonder how many extra police you could employ for the price of a night of Shock and Awe?

Tv-B Gone

Friday

Got a mail from Graham Elderson who had spotted a device for turning off just about any television. Called TV-B-Gone ($14.99 US), it's an on-off switch that works on about 1,000 TV models wherever they annoy you.

This brilliant gizmo stores about 200 codes and cycles through them until the offending box goes off.

I'll add that to my list of must haves - rates alongside the mobile phone jammer that I dream of owning.

Mrs Bogs has flown North to visit her father so I'm on the loose for a few days. If you hear a few explosions in your area it just might be Milt and his medication.

I've also been discovered, at long last, by that well known spammer "Major Eduardo Dembo Malange". He's the former aide to the late Jonas Savimbi, leader of the National Union for the Total Independence of Angola (UNITA) who was killed by Angolan government troops on 24th Feb. 2002. Diamonds stashed away eh what! Wizard wheeze old chap!

Got about as much chance of getting cash ourt of me as they have of finding those weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

Explosive

Thursday

The sun was shining early on but the sky was black. Managed to get to the tip while it was dry but then the rain hammered down and the dog's walk got cancelled.

Here's a totally useless piece of information for you - Gibraltar covers a total area of 6.5 sq miles, has a total of 29km of road and they have Bikers. How cool is that!

They also have a touring rock band Breed77.

On the spam front I am now being offered, "Stronger,More Explosive Climaxes", "FDA approved pharmaceuticals", "Italian Crafted Rolex Watches", "not expensive high-quality software" whatever that is and an intriguing "did you seen this?". Spoilt for choice there so I binned the lot.

The "explosive climaxes" is a bit worrying. Can they spot them at Customs?

Merl's mailed me a wmv on Presidential voting machines.

Turntable Disaster

Wednesday

The 3.5MM jack to RCA cable to connect the AR deck to the computer arrived. Trouble is I have somehow screwed up the tiny Haydon synchronous motor so there's nothing to turn the turntable. The deck looks great - it just doesn't work.

I'm now planning to transfer the jazz vinyls to DAT and then put them on the computer, unless someone can come up with a repair or replacement for the Haydon/Philips motor.

Merl Kapram sent me a piece about some UK newspaper that's trying to get its readers to email voters in Clark County, Ohio, to persuade them not to vote for Bush. It sure seems to have stirred up a few Good Old Boys.

Merl likes to keep us up to speed on these things. He's had a bad stomach recently but is obviously feeling better now. An Apple a day man is Merl. He reckons that if the Brits really want to make a point, they should boycott American goods. Let them try - see how they get on without Apple and Microsoft. The British Navy would be stuffed for a start but that's another story.

Where does all this spam come from? "Discount direct prescription medications", "Did you want a Rolex for $75?", "She will smile tonight".

Ok so I am now the guy who can't walk normally because he's built like a petrol pump, wears a fake "Rolex" and who has to bum drinks off everybody because he's spent out on "get bigger, stay longer" pills.

Keep it coming you spammers.

Hey, I haven't had that spam from "Prince.IDRIS BAKO Chief Auditor, audit department of Fund release Orderin central Bank of Nigeria and Nobody knows what is going on except I and two of my workers". .....I feel neglected.....

Old Blue Eyes

Tuesday

Another wet and gloomy day today. Woke up and realised I had to go to the optician's to get my new contact lenses checked. I knew I should have stayed in last night rather than visit my local bar, The Hole in the Ground. Hate to think what the guy is going to see when he peers into my bloodshot eyeballs. Still, he gets paid well for it.

I now appear to have one blue eye and one even bluer eye - they should be brown. The optician said it didn't matter. Who am I to argue?

I spent the rest of the day carpeting the inside of the Garrard's plinth. I was going to build a new plinth but decided to see what difference, if any, damping the inside of the current box would make. So far I'm well pleased with it but as I pointed out before, it's hard to be sure when all you can hear between tracks is the sound of flushing toilets. Having said that, the bass is much cleaner and better defined.

I've got a Shure audio check LP. There's a blank, grooveless, track to check anti-skate settings. What a game that was.

Raul's just emailed me a link to get on Google. Seems he wants me exposed to the World. Not sure I share his enthusiasm.

Silence is a Flushing Toilet

Saturday

To Hell with iTunes I have been rediscovering my jazz collection on vinyl.

I found a replacement stylus for a Shure V15 mark3 that I've had for the best part of 35 years. It was originally in an SME 3009 on top of a Garrard 401 that sits in the lounge but I downgraded the cartridge about twenty years ago because I couldn't get hold of an affordable replacement.

Thanks to the internet I don't have to shop locally any more and I've found a source for a stylus. I've also been cleaning up an old AR XA deck that belonged to my Father and intend to put the current cartridge from the 401/SME into it today so that I can connect to the computer and transfer the jazz vinyls to cd.

The old V15 cartridge is back in the SME 3009 but only because my friend Raul is a wizz with the soldering iron. What should have been a simple job wasn't - the connector tags came off the SME headshell wires. It's a fixed headshell so the arm had to come out and then make the trip across town to the solder. Raul fixed it in no time at all. Must be good to be able to see properly.

The 401's spinning and the SME's set up again and the records are playing. Is it better than it was yesterday?

The simple answer is - I don't know. My wife says it's fine but all I can hear is the sound of a permanently flushing toilet in the background. It's what I hear all day every day and is nothing to do with the deck or the tonearm. I've grown to accept it over the years but it's a pig when you want to hear nothing but glorious silence between tracks.

Links that may be of use to others.

Stylus Supplies
Old Turntable Information
Mr Stylus
Phono Cartridge Alignment
Garrard Rebuild
Styli For Sale
Turntable System Setup
Vinylnirvana

Nothing Changes

Hi, Milt here. The guy in the bar last Tuesday.

Tuesday was an average day, no major calamity until I went to celebrate in the local bar. What a mistake!

The usual scene in there, half a dozen seedy looking guys dropping his cigarette butts on the floor under the "No Smoking at the Bar" signs and the pain in the ass barman who hasn't mastered how to serve people doing his best to ignore everybody. After thirty seconds in the place you wonder what on Earth you're doing there. An hour later you're still wondering.

Suddenly you realize that your back is much warmer than usual. Is it the beer? No the heat is caused by bodily contact. Hey life is suddenly looking up, not only is there a female in the bar for a change but she's making serious physical contact.

Yes Milt's life is definitely on the up. She's blonde, warm, available and pressing herself against your back, her chin against your shoulder. She speaks and what passes as conversation starts off something like this....

"I'm a f***ing nursh. I am I'm a trained nursh. I'm in A&E but no one'll look after me." The local bag lady, the local lush, the local nutcase! Lady you can not be serious! This is Milt Bogs you're passing out on, a man with pride, a man with taste, even after a night in the local bar.

Eventually she staggered to the powder room and then somehow vanished off the face of the Earth.

Lady, if you're reading this you don't owe me a drink to replace the one you helped yourself to. The guy behind the bar gave me a fresh one.