Big Garden Birdwatch

Track of the day - Rockin' Robin - Jackson 5

The sun came out for five minutes and a robin landed on the bird table.
As today was the RSPB's Big Garden Birdwatch day I'd been lying flat on the floor in the back room with the door into the garden wide open, trying unsuccessfully to get a shot of some birds.
It was freezing cold and after half an hour I gave up, shut the door, went into the kitchen and made a cup of coffee. I'd spotted three birds.
It was at that point that the sun came out and the birds came back into the garden.

I always thought that chirpy little kid in the Jackson 5 had talent. Whatever happened to him?

Total Humiliation (Poms in Australia)

Track of the day - Total Humiliation - 10cc and Geoff Boycott

Another defeat in Australia.
This time by 9 wickets in 24.3 overs.
Just how much humiliation am I expected to suffer?
Bring them home now - PLEASE!

If you didn't play the track of the day, give it a click. It's the only thing that has given me any pleasure on this dire and dismal day. Perhaps I should try my hand at being a full-time jingle mixer.

While I'm on the subject of mp3 offerings I want to thank Cheryl for her Messing about on the River link.
I'm still looking for the Josh MacRae track though so if anyone out there has got it please get in touch.

I'd also like to say "Top of the morning" to Gabbi and Hoss who have also dropped in recently.
It's always good to hear from old friends especially when I haven't been out and about for a couple of months.
I blame it on the weather

Has anyone watched the latest Lynda LaPlante, Trial and Retribution, two parters screened on ITV Sunday and Monday?
I have rarely seen such lousy acting. I record it on Sky+ in the hope that it will improve. Compared to Waking the Dead, screened at the same time on BBC1 it is a total no hoper.
Having said that, the Waking the Dead team is struggling with the offerings of script writers who should leave the machinations of the Foreign Office and British Intelligence to John Le Carré. Félicité Du Jeu is more than welcome on my tv screen any day and I'm convinced that somewhere along the line Boyd will appear in Barcelona.

Perhaps the sun will shine tomorrow and pigs will fly and England will win a game of cricket.

Messing About On The River

Track of the day - Double O - Count Basie



I finally took a picture of a duck and my cup overfloweth.
Well it would if I could find an mp3 of Messing About on the River by the late Josh MacRae.
I've been humming the song for 40 years now and it doesn't seem to be available anywhere.
If anyone has that track, please let me know.

Squirrel & Camellia

Track of the day - Brother Can You Spare A Dime - Bing Crosby

There was a frost this morning.
The sun was shining so I went duck watching and met a squirrel wearing a very sensible fur coat. He stopped and asked if I knew where he could get a cup of tea.
Next time I go I'll take a few peanuts for him.
He didn't have a lot to say so we got on well enough.

There was ice on the lake, a tree that had been ripped out of the ground by last week's gale and a camellia in full bloom.
The seasons seem to be in a state of confusion.
Global warming I guess even though there wasn't much warmth this morning.

Nicotine Nell

Track of the day - Red Hot - Robert Gordon and Link Wray

Sometimes I think that the advertising community inadvertently send out the wrong message.

Little old Nicotine Nell here must be just about the most desirable female I've seen in a TV advert for years.

This lady smokes with a guitar round her neck, smoulders on a motor cycle, positively sizzles in a bubble bath and is one hell of a seductive listener.

Just about the only thing this advert won't do is sell me a nicotine patch.

Not unless she turns up here in person that is. I'm not sure I'm strong willed enough to refuse her anything.


We're queuing up in Bogsville to read that little label.

British Intelligence

Track of the day - The Holy Man on Malibu Bus Number 3 - Dory Previn.

British Intelligence is now using highly trained squirrels to infiltrate and gather information on suspect terrorist cells.
Squirrels are ideal for this duty because they can spot any nut a mile off.
This little beauty is pictured getting its final briefing from the P.M. himself.
Either that or it believes it has just identified another nut.

Destruction A Form Of Creation

Track of the day - Parking Lot - Joni Mitchell.

If Graham Greene was right when he wrote in 1952
'destruction after all is a form of creation'
we have some highly creative people here in Bogsville.

We were basking in the warm glow from our new fluorescent tube and enthusing over its qualities when the diffuser fell off and almost decapitated Mrs B.

Iguanas

Track of the day - Mythical Kings and Iguanas - Dory Previn.

I'd just staggered out of bed when Mrs B announced that the fluorescent tube in the kitchen had died.
I investigated the replacement possibilities and came up with this -

"58Watt 60 Inches Long Activa Fluorescent Tubes
T8 - 1 Inch Dia.
Activa is a very high colour rendering daylight lamp with a CRI above 95, it also emits a small percentage of UVA. With a colour temperature of 6500K and its high CRI it is ideal for presentation of accurate colours.
Features: Accurate daylight simulation
Superb colour 6500K
CRI above 95."

Sounded just like what we need. Perfect in fact, except that it was listed under "Aquarium Lighting and Reptile Lamps"
A reptile lamp should be ideal.

Accolade Myspace link.

William Norrie

Track of the day - A Picture Of You - Joe Brown.

Mrs B asked me to scan a photograph of her great, great grandmother. It was taken in 1901 when the lady was 24 years old.
After I scanned it I couldn't believe what came up on the monitor.
I know there are dust specks and scratches on the print but considering that it is over 100 years old, the quality is amazing.
Google informs me that the photographer was William Norrie who had a studio at 28 Cross Street, Fraserburgh, that he also had studios in Brussels, Utrecht, Geneva and Maastricht, and was winner of 24 prize medals and diplomas.
William Norrie knew what he was doing.


Accolade Myspace link.

Old Cassette Tapes

Track of the day - Moonlight Shadow - Mike Oldfield and Maggie Reilly.



I was planning on making a trip to the Hole in the Ground bar tonight but it's been raining heavily this evening and now it's too late to go out. Sometimes life's a bummer like that.

Instead I sat here listening to old cassette tapes from years ago.
It didn't matter if it rained then. Friday night was the beginning of the weekend so whether it rained or snowed we went out.
Must have been mad.

Accolade Myspace link.

Have No Fear Of Escalation

Track of the day - Lyndon Johnson Told The Nation - Tom Paxton.

It must be at least 40 years since I first heard Tom Paxton sing that song.
Its sentiments seem just as valid today as they did back then in 1965.
Sure, the names are different but very little else has changed At least George is only sending 21,500 more.

Have no fear of escalation.
I am trying everyone to please.
Though it isn't really war,
We're sending twenty one thousand five hundred more...

I'm assured that at the equator, the speed of the Earth's rotation is 1670 km/hr, or 1070 mi/hr. To find the rotational speed for where you live and to test your knowledge of mathematics take the cosine of your latitude, and multiply it by the speed at the equator.
No wonder my one ear is larger than the other. I'm surprised that my eyes haven't popped out.
I'm also assured that the Earth spins towards the East which explains why it always took me longer to get home from work than it took me to get there in the morning.
I'm off to find the cosine of my latitude. Perhaps not, I'm crap at maths.

Accolade Myspace link.

Hell In Here

Track of the day - Back For More - Accolade.

I strolled along to the Hole in the Ground. Yes I know it's a dive. Yes I know it's full of halfwits but the beer doesn't make me ill.
The bus passed me on the way and there sitting in style on the lower deck was Raul on his way to the Tulip & Tiara.
I pushed open the swing door and spotted Griselda, the barmaid who likes to have her butt felt by young kids.
I stood at the bar. Griselda ignored me.
She ignores everybody except the young kids.
After ten minutes she left the bar and wandered off into the lounge.
In the hour that I was there she made one phone-call and served one pint. She spent half an hour trying to find a broom.
Griselda will do anything rather than pull a pint.
She appears to be in charge of the bar on the nights when she is there.
I try to avoid those nights.
At 10:55pm she reappeared with the broom.
"It's been hell in here all night," she said.
I had to agree.

Accolade Myspace link.

Walking On Me

Track of the day - Walking on Me - Von Kleet.

When does Summer start? I should get one of those energy wasting cheap flights to somewhere where the sun shines, the beaches stretch for miles and there are gurlz who might spend time walking on me.

Von Kleet
I have no idea who Von Kleet is/are but Walking on Me is quite simply a great track. If I were a pop agent I'd sign them up immediately. Unfortunately I'm not.

My drinking world has collapsed. The Hole in the Ground bar is to be avoided at all costs because it has been adopted by the arson king who tries to bore me to death and when I went along to the Tulip & Tiara it took me a whole day to recover. The beer there is deadlier than Paraquat so I find myself balancing precariously on the horns of a dilemma - bored to death listening to the arson king in the Hole or poisoned by the beer at the Tulip.
I think a beach with gurlz who might walk on me is probably the best bet. I'll start saving.

Easyspace seems to be down. Sorry!

Accolade Myspace link.

Discontinued

Track of the day - Back For More - Accolade.

Bogsvillians can't resist an online bargain. Someone must have spent hours getting these trainers online.

Perhaps it was a member of the miserable England cricketing fraternity.
Over hyped, over paid and over there. The England cricket squad should be left to pay their own fares back to England. They win one nail biting Ashes series against Australia and the media circus steps up a gear - an open bus tour of London, followed by a reception at Buckingham Palace and gongs all round. It was nauseating then and has now been put well and truly into perspective. 5-0 - What a shambles!

As if that wasn't bad enough my trusty, ancient Sony cassette deck decided to break down. Time for a new one I thought, so I pottered off to search Google for audio cassette deck. I might just as well have been trying to find a brand new penny farthing bicycle or a 2007 Model T Ford. Deck after deck came up 'Discontinued, Discontinued'.
Ever the optimist I stripped down the antique, somehow managing to connect my elbow with the internal power supply, my hair stood on end and I shot out of the chair.
The deck went into the bin.

Accolade Myspace link.

Some Fakhirs

Track of the day - Wreckage - Accolade.

Some fakhirs will suffer agonies to get a tan.
I prefer a sunny beach complete with bikini clad women.
I'm strange that way.









Accolade Myspace link

Slightly Used MBE Gong

Track of the day - Jailhouse Blues - Chris Barber

The secret is finally out.
There's a market in slightly used MBE honours list gongs stripped from people who have served prison sentences.



If anyone knows what the winning Buy Now bid was, please let me know.

I'm waiting for Lord Archer to be stripped of his peerage before I place a bid but I fear it will never happen.

.
A Nerve Engine MP3 to download :
Nerve Engine - Distance
or go to NE's My Space page to stream it.
Nerve Engine Gig Gallery