C&A

An Essex girl is in a bar one afternoon when she notices something strange about the trainers the guy at the next table is wearing.

"'Scuse me mate, I ain't being funny or nuffink, but why doz one of your trainers 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it?"

The guy puts down his can of Red Bull and says, "Well the one with the R is for me right foot and the one with the L is for me left foot."

"Blimey," says the Essex girl, "so that's why me knickers 'ave got a C & A on them!"

I don't know about her knickers but the poor girl looks to me like she needs a couple of pounds of steak and half a dozen sticky buns. Must be the food shortage after Tornado Shazza struck Basildon.

On a purely personal note I've decided I'd like to become a cowboy but I can't for the life of me imagine why.

I expect it's all to do with watching The Lone Ranger and Tonto or Roy Rogers and Trigger at the cinema on Saturday mornings when I was a kid. All that groping and branding...

On the other hand it might have something to do with the T-shirt that the young lady on the left is wearing. I don't think she got it from C&A.