Make Mine Coke

The coke was flowing in the Tulip & Tiara bar last night. The barman told me they were having problems with the homogenized garbage I drink when I'm in there.

"Do you want the triple cooled Titanic instead?"
"No, the Titanic's too cold for me," I said. "I guess I'll have to make do with the coke in the washroom. Is there much in there tonight?"
He looked at me and pulled a face."There was a lot in there earlier on, but it's just about clear now."
"Cutting it on the top of the toilet paper dispensers were they?"
"No the back of the toilet seat lids. I had to wipe them down a couple of times. The last guy made a real mess in there. Most of his toot was on the floor."

Maybe I'm swimming against the tide here but I have to admit to having a problem with bars that accept that customers are openly snorting coke in the washroom and don't do anything about it. I'm not naive enough to think that it doesn't go on but I don't want the mouthy pea brain pushing in next to me at the bar to be high on something he sniffed off a seat in the john.

What amazed me was that the guy behind the bar was so open about it. I think I'll rename him Charlie.

Heard the one about the guy who banned pigs in Dudley?

Or the one about the Bus Shelter outside the Corbett Hospital?