It's A Joke

Dear Mr Bogs

Your photograph was forwarded to us as part of an article we are publishing for our next edition of Bisiness Review Monthly. Can you check over the format and get back to us with your approval or any changes you would like. If the photograph is not to your liking then please attach a preferred one.

No problem I prefer this one.

10Gb Broadband Joke

I pay for a 4Gb broadband feed from Blueyonder. Last night it was working almost as well as a 56kb modem feed. Now Blueyonder contact me and tell me that because of my loyalty they are upgrading the feed to 10Gb for less money a month. Guys I'd settle for the 4Gb feed I'm currently paying you for. It's a joke of course because if you triple my current download speed I still wouldn't be reaching 1Gb.

The interesting point to note is that these people offer up to 4Gb and up to 10 Gb feeds. So whatever crap speed my broadband modem achieves, as long as it is connecting, they are fulfilling their legal requirements. "Read the small print Sir."

As I say, I am currently struggling to download pages unless I sit up all night when the rest of Bogsville is in bed. This is definitely not a case of you get what you pay for.

Name Dropping

If I knew where Seize the Night had disappeared to I'd send for her and her gun. These jerks need pistol-whipping! I hope you are not reading this Shannon because you really ought to be revising.

MP3 Player

Question - "Do you fancy a 1Gb portable Apple or Sony Mp3 player?"
Answer - "No thanks. I'd rather have a Multi Media flash card."
Unbelievable but true.

Nerve Engine

If anyone is into headbanging there are two new tracks here together with details of future gigs.

Would you wear this?

Police arrested 20 year old gamekeeper Charlotte Denis for wearing a "Bollocks to Blair" T shirt at a game fair last weekend.

A tearful Denis was driven to a mobile police unit. "I asked the officers how they could arrest someone for wearing a T shirt and they told me it was because it would offend a 70-80 year old woman," she said.

Upset a 70-80 year old woman? What a load of bollocks!

À propos bollocks

From Milt's Spambag - Our Online Shop sells generic Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra. These are products that help men regain their erections during intercourse.

Excuse my ignorance but shouldn't that read "maintain their erections" rather than regain?