Anyone Seen My SA80 Assault Rifle?

Here's a little story that should help citizens of the UK sleep sounder in their beds tonight.

It seems that a Sergeant Major in 14 Signals Regiment was taking part in a training exercise with 900 other soldiers last Monday in the Brecon Beacons when he somehow managed to lose his SA80 assault rifle, capable of firing 700 rounds a minute. The Sergeant Major claims he handed the weapon to someone while he went off to do an administrative task. When he came back he couldn't find the rifle. I suggest he checks on eBay.

Hold on a minute wasn't it only two days earlier that Captain Alice Bromage left her dainty little, US-made 9mm Sig Sauer automatic pistol, loaded with 13 rounds of blank ammunition, in the disabled toilet of a Sainsbury's store in Hitchin, Herts? It's rumored that the Captain was on an intelligence gathering exercise at the time. She probably rested it on the cistern while she powdered her nostrils. Could happen to anyone. And anyway it later turned up in a post box so that's ok and a 20-year-old man from Ickleford, Herts, was arrested on suspicion of theft by finding.

My mother used to hang my house key round my neck on a piece of string. Maybe the British army should buy some balls of string.

A year ago

I seem to have been having a go at spammers and people who were about to vote for George Bush. The link still works. Visit the link and see how you were manipulated. No one left a comment then. What a bunch of ... So go there immediately and leave a comment to prove that the 2005 readership is friendlier and more astute than the dumbasses were in 2004.