Lie Back And Think Of England

Track of the day Quite Firm - Laurence Cottle.

I went for another session with the little chinese dentist this morning.

She's a very modern lady, she doesn't mess about at all, just gets straight to the point. Every time I go to see her she suggests whipping something out for me.

Now I'm more than capable of whipping my things out myself but she is a very persuasive young lady and I don't want to put a strain on our relationship so I decided to lie back, think of England and give in to her desires.

I just wish that she was a reflexologist rather than a dentist. Reflexologists apply pressure to specific spots in short ‘crawling’ movements, which ease tension and restore the body’s natural balance. A few 'short crawling movements' would be good.

Foul mouthed old hag

On the way into the surgery I followed a middle aged couple who had been shopping in the nearby supermarket. Somehow the woman managed to collide with a little old lady who turned on her and let fly with the foulest mouthful of abuse I've heard in a long time.

It ended with and this is an approximation, "Yo wanna look where you'm f***ing gewing, you stupid f***ing c**t."

I would have had words with her but I was running late for my dental appointment. Three quarters of an hour later when I staggered out into the unaccustomed midday sunshine, she'd gone. I don't think that anyone missed her.

The times they are a changing

I needed a quick trip to the gents after the morning's excitement, it's a long drive back to Bogsville, so I nipped into the supermarket. Up two flights of stairs there's a room with a wall full of sparkling urinals. On the back wall there is a baby changing area.

Baby changing area? It's enough to put a gent off his stream.

"Oh dahlink, go change the baby, while I stock up on the King Edwards and broccoli. See if you can get one with curly hair this time."

Track of the day was from Laurence Cottle - Live - 1995. Laurence Cottle - Bass Guitar, Graham Harvey - Fender Rhodes, Nigel Hitchcock - Alto Sax, Gerard Presencer - Trumpet, Ian Thomas - Drums. $4.95 for the whole CD, liner notes and artwork is an absolute bargain. Download it.

And Ken brought the graphics card this morning just before I left home. He wasn't supposed to bring it until tomorrow.