Great Spotted Woodpecker

Track of the day Can't Buy Me Love - Poor Old Bogger.

I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank the Queen, Tony Bliar, George Bush, the Pope, Madonna and PC Jones from Bogsville for again ignoring the fact that yesterday was my birthday. And now back to meatier matters.

The Bogsville Heights bird sanctuary seems to have become a feeding station for a Great Spotted Woodpecker or dendrocopos major as he's known by us bird types. He's been visiting for a few days now. The first time I saw the black and white flash past the window I thought it was a penguin. I'm not sure what the regular feathered visitors make of Dendrocopos but they get out of the way pretty quickly. Drilling holes in tree trunks must get painful at times so why not have a go at a block of fat instead?

Last year we had a Green Woodpecker,yes you guessed, a Picus Viridis, that attacked our red hot poker plants. All these woodpeckers setting up home just goes to prove that there's a lot of dead wood here in Bogsville.

Sunk Without Trace

The mild euphoria generated by yesterday's repeat of last year's birthday has gone, disappeared - sunk without trace. It was a bit like watching all those endless repeats of crap 1970 comedies on Tv, but enough of self pity, I've got nothing to feel miserable about compared to that poor old bogger Paul McCartney. He's been raking it in for years singing about what life would be like when he was 64. Well now he knows. I bet he thinks twice before he sings 'Can't Buy Me Love' again.

A generous divorce settlement sounds about right to me. Anyone who can put up with him humming his little ditties for four years deserves every penny. No that's unfair. Hell, I'd have been tempted to marry him myself for 200 million or 100 million or even a paltry 50 million pounds but then I've always been cheap.