Clandestine Camera Humiliation

He doesn't smoke. He doesn't swear. He's neither married nor in a relationship. He's here, he's available and he needs a date.

Miss Roseberry is no more

Thanks to eagle eyed blog sleuth Cheryl I have the evidence to prove that my trusted trainer has been operating a clandestine video camera during our fitness sessions. My lawyer has the still from what she called "a pushup session" to prove it. No - I have to warn you - do not even think of going there. There is only so much public humiliation that a guy can be expected to suffer in the name of fitness. I am therefore temporarily between trainers so to speak and as far as I am concerned Miss Roseberry and her broken heart can go fish.

OMO

Is there anyone out there who remembers the packets of OMO washing powder? They used to appear on display in the windows of houses and then disappear just as quickly. The significance of the packet on display in the window had nothing to do with wash day. It was the bored housewife's signal "Old Man Out". In some houses, or so rumor has it, it was always wash day and there was always a man ready to pop it in for the lady of the house whether the model was a top or front loader.

Tip Off

The water balloon bomber seems to have tired of using conventional water weaponry and moved on to eggs. I have received a tip off that may lead to the identification of the sad prat. My informant was unwilling to name names but identified the vehicle as belonging to one particular local street. We shall see.

Name Change

As the result of a post by Painting Chef about changing names, I have now changed my name to Burnet Droolhover II. This should help to convince people that I am not who my wife and offspring think I am. I can't imagine why I didn't think of it before.