I Asked For Women

Track of the day Phoenix (excerpt) - Nerve Engine.

I asked for women in the Pig & Plonker and I got them.
I was deep in conversation with Raul, leaning against the empty bar when a woman marched up and elbowed her way between us. We waited patiently for her to order her drinks but she decided to chat to the barman.
Raul and I had been in mid conversation and I made the mistake of telling her that her friend was dying of thirst. I was holding a note,ready to pay for a round so she snatched the note and pranced around the bar area with it shouting "F***ing this and f***ing that." The main gist of her tirade was that I had no f***ing sense of humour and was f***ing sad.
I ignored her - no f***ing sense of humour I guess, not when it comes to dog rough women who drink too much and grab your money.
Lord, as you know, I don't ask for much, so next time you send a woman to the Pig & Plonker please see if you can send one with a little bit of class.

Alarm system routine check

The engineer turned up to check the alarm system. I asked him if they had moved the call centre to somewhere miles away.
"Oh yes. Miles away," he said, "Manchester."
So much for my theory about Bombay or Calcutta.

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