Accident Prone

Track of the day How About You? - Oscar Peterson.

His face peered out at me from a picture on the front page of the Bogsville Bugle. He looked like a perfectly normal, happy little three year old.

He had somehow managed to get his head stuck fast in one of the swings in the city's Central Park. It was one of those ultra safe swings designed for very young children, the ones with sliding bars that are supposed to stop the child falling out of the seat box. The Firemen were called to the scene and managed to free the child's head. It must have been a dead news week because I couldn't see any reason for the story appearing on the front page. I read on.

"He's accident prone," said the proud mother, "he's always getting into scrapes. Two weeks ago he set fire to his grandmother."

At which point I realised why the story was on the front page.

Shakespeare's Julius Caesar - a taster

"Julius Caesar had gust come back from the black sea he had just diffeated popey .When he had got in the city of Rome all of the peple wos having a pary down the street but! one man had come out and said " beware of the eyes of march " .Later that day the peple had said "we wund like you to be king for us"but caeser had said no."

I'm sure there's a moral in there somewhere.