Escorts

Advent Calendar

I overheard two Irish guys discussing whether Prince Charles Philip Arthur George would become 'King George de Sevent' or 'King Charles de Turd'.

For what it's worth, my personal vote goes for 'King Charles de Turd'.

Missed opportunities

"Wednesday 30th November,Wednesday 7th, 14th and 21st December have been highlighted as Access Evening where people with mobility can shop in the City Centre with the help of escorts if required."

I sometimes feel like I need the services of an escort but rarely when I'm shopping. "The climax of the shopping trip came when..." I know they'll try anything here in Bogsville to get people into the stores but shouldn't that have read 'people with mobility problems'?