A Lousy Teacher
Handy, the science teacher, was a total jackass. I couldn't stand him. Discipline in his 1963 boys only school class was maintained by a smack to the back of an unsuspecting head. He was a lousy teacher so the smack round the back of the head was a common occurrence.
Handy swore by it. Said it was what the kids needed and was the only thing that they respected. This dubious technique appeared to serve him well enough until one day when he decided that a tall, blond 14 year old, named Davies, was in need of a little discipline.
Handy walked over to where Davies was sitting and lashed out with his right hand. There was a crack, the kid's head shot forward and one of his eye popped out and rolled slowly across the classroom floor.
The science guy stood there staring at it in horror. All the color drained from his face. There wasn't a sound in the room.
After a few seconds Davies stood up, wandered over to where his eye lay on the floor, picked it up, popped it into his mouth and walked out of the room. Eventually Handy followed him. Five minutes later Davies came back in and sat down at his desk. The eye was back in its rightful place.
What Handy hadn't known was that Davies had lost an eye in an accident when he was five and the doctors had fitted him with a perfectly fitting glass eye. As his body grew ever larger, the glass eye got ever looser and started to pop out more and more frequently. If the eye came out Davies would stick it in his mouth and then reinsert it. It had happened on numerous occasions in the school yard and in the local parks. The only person in the room who was shocked by what had happened was slaphappy Handy.
Davies was a pain in the ass. None of the kids liked him and most had been bullied by him but on that particular day he not only saved future generations of boys from getting a painful smack on the head but also taught a lousy teacher a valuable lesson.
Handy swore by it. Said it was what the kids needed and was the only thing that they respected. This dubious technique appeared to serve him well enough until one day when he decided that a tall, blond 14 year old, named Davies, was in need of a little discipline.
Handy walked over to where Davies was sitting and lashed out with his right hand. There was a crack, the kid's head shot forward and one of his eye popped out and rolled slowly across the classroom floor.
The science guy stood there staring at it in horror. All the color drained from his face. There wasn't a sound in the room.
After a few seconds Davies stood up, wandered over to where his eye lay on the floor, picked it up, popped it into his mouth and walked out of the room. Eventually Handy followed him. Five minutes later Davies came back in and sat down at his desk. The eye was back in its rightful place.
What Handy hadn't known was that Davies had lost an eye in an accident when he was five and the doctors had fitted him with a perfectly fitting glass eye. As his body grew ever larger, the glass eye got ever looser and started to pop out more and more frequently. If the eye came out Davies would stick it in his mouth and then reinsert it. It had happened on numerous occasions in the school yard and in the local parks. The only person in the room who was shocked by what had happened was slaphappy Handy.
Davies was a pain in the ass. None of the kids liked him and most had been bullied by him but on that particular day he not only saved future generations of boys from getting a painful smack on the head but also taught a lousy teacher a valuable lesson.
The pygmies strike back
The British foreign secretary, Jack Straw, today accused Britain's former ambassador to Washington of "breaking trust" by publishing his highly revealing memoirs. And quite right too. The fact that the British Government is made up of pygmies is supposed to be a well kept secret.
Posted by Milt at 7:33:00 am
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