A Long Hot Summer Night In Bogsville

Don't know what it is about hot weather but it sure brings out all the local assholes. Gets so an old bogger like me starts to worry about his personal safety.

Take last night for instance. There I was propping up a corner of the bar at the Tulip & Tiara with Merl and Raul, puttin' the world to rights, discussin' meaty matters and peerin' at the girls in their loose summer dresses, when Vesuvius erupts right in the middle of the bar.

Five or six big guys tryin' to get at one another, a whole load of screamin' and hollerin', prancin' and posturin', pushin' and shovin', threatenin' and cursin'.

Seemed to be about a woman they had with them. There's always problems when you've got a whole bunch of drunk guys and just one woman.

There they were prancin' around like ruttin' stags except they never got to the headbutt stage and the woman was screaming, "Get the police! Get the police!" but nobody did. Then - they all went home.

We walked off home too.

Ten minutes later I'm turning into my road in one of Bogsville's leafy suburbs when I happen upon a young guy with a beer can in his hand proving to himself that he's tougher than any damn fence or refuse bin in Bogsville. He's destroying fence panels and overturning bins like there's no tomorrow.

We exchanged a few pleasantries, he stripped off his shirt and announced that he would smash my head in with the beer can. I was impressed. He explained to me that he wouldn't hit a woman. I was totally confused. He explained that he'd had a bad night and as he wouldn't hit a woman he'd got to take it out on something.

The chat seemed to have done him good. He put his shirt back on and walked away. A few minutes later he got into a car and was driven off by some helpful buddies.

I went in the house and phoned the police.

The beer can is still outside. It hasn't been opened. It's dented. The beer can was a lot tougher than he was.