Batlike In Bogsville

Track of the day - Boom Boom Boom - The Animals.

I've been keeping my head down and my feet up recently.
I spend hours every week hanging batlike, upside down, suspended from my latest waste of money purchase, an inversion table.
I've wanted one since I boggered my back at work twenty five years ago.

"You can't leave that box on the floor Mr Bogs. Move it."
I should have ignored him. But in a fit of bogsian pique, I waited until he'd gone then heaved the box up onto a table, put a chair on top of the table and dragged everything over to the wall. Standing on the chair on top of the table I could just about reach an overhead cupboard.

Just as I got the box level with the cupboard, it began to split. I twisted to get the contents in through the open door.
There was a loud crack like a pistol shot and excruciating pain at the base of my spine.
I had a sudden and compelling desire to hang upside down but there wasn't a tree branch handy.

The Doctor was a complete waste of time.
He suggested "Bed rest and aspirin."
No surprise there because that's his remedy for just about everything.
A kindly physiotherapist wired me up to an electrical device that caused everything to twitch uncontrollably. That was fun and strangely erotic and it got rid of the pain until the next time I forgot I had a back problem and tried to lift something.
Every time my back was bad I knew that if I could just hang upside down the pain would go away.

Now, thanks to my inversion table, I just lock my feet under a padded bar, raise my arms in the air and hurtle backwards until I'm hanging upside down.

Has it cured my back problem?
In a word, no.
But it's good fun once you get used to the blood pounding in your ears and it keeps me out of the way.
Perhaps my legs will get longer.

Incidentally my new Left and Right socks are a great success. I'll have to take them for a walk.