Caught Short

Track of the day - Right Place Wrong Time - Dr. John.



Caught short in the woods, I was urinating against the trunk of an old oak tree when, "Toowit-toowoo", I realised that my efforts were being observed by this tawny owl. Luckily the owl had no camera.
When I proudly reported my sighting to a ranger, he was singularly unimpressed.
"Yeah. It must be the most photographed bird in South Staffordshire, that one."

I spent yesterday listening to news items on radio and tv about drinking alcohol and cancer, eating red meat and cancer. The end result was that last night after three months of total abstinence from alcohol, apart from a couple of pints of beer in Yorkshire and another two in London, I suddenly felt the urge to revisit the Hole in the Ground bar.
I really wish I hadn't.
The place was so empty that I couldn't help wondering whether it was related to the quality of red meat and beer on offer there.
Eventually I wandered outside into the back yard where they've put tables and space heaters to accommodate smokers.
One lone smoker stood by the glass door watching the soccer on a big screen that was the only sign of life in the bar.
He finished smoking, dropped what was left of the cigarette on the ground behind him, went back inside and closed the door.
I decided to follow him but found that he'd locked the door. I rattled the door for a while but there was no one to open it so I climbed out over the wall and went home.
P.S. If the current owner of the bar reads this, a stile would help.