FCUK

Track of the day - Donald Where's Your Trousers? - Andy Stewart.

"Hello, FCUK Oxford Street?
Donald Featherstonehaugh, pronounced Fanshaw, here.
Could you check the changing rooms for a rather sordid pair of black Marks & Sparks trousers? I seem to have left the store without them.
You've already found them. That's great.
Do you think someone could bring them down to me at St Pancras?
Yes I know you're very busy but it is really really urgent. You see I'm feeling a trifle vulnerable at the moment.
Exactly. So you'll appreciate why I don't feel I can move from where I am now.
Yes well I'm standing behind a large suitcase so I don't think anyone's noticed yet...
but I fear it's only a matter of time..."