The Bogsville Chainsaw Massacre

Track of the day I'm A Lumberjack - Monty Python.

The Bogsville chainsaw massacre took place this morning. Next door's 40' Lawson Cypress tree is no more and for the first time since we moved in here there is sun on 95% of the back garden.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavat'ry
On Wednesdays I go shopping
And have buttered scones for tea

Phone Hearing Test

"Your hearing is within the normal range," said the female voice on the other end of the phone.

Strange really because I'd just sat through five minutes of mounting frustration and panic as I punched 000 into the keypad rather than the numbers they were reading to me that I couldn't hear at all.

So there you are, there's nothing wrong with my hearing, I just don't hear the phone or the doorbell, have an annoying habit of saying "pardon" all the time and sitting with my hand cupped round my right ear when I'm watching television.

I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa