New Hygiene Regulations

The refreshment room at Bogsville Bus Station introduced new hygiene regulations last week on the day I popped in for my afternoon cup of coffee and a pretzel croissant.

As I lifted the lid of the display cabinet and reached for the croissant the guy behind the counter said,"Hey Mac, use the tongs will ya. It's the new hygiene regulations. Everything's untouched by human hand now, so use the tongs will ya."

I reached out with the tongs, captured an elusive pretzel croissant and dropped it onto a plate. The guy nodded in approval.

"Hope you don't mind me pointin' this out," I said, "but you've got a piece of string hanging out of your flies."

He nodded. "Sure have. It's the new hygiene regulations. I need to take a leak, I go to the washroom, unzip, pull the piece of string and pee. All untouched by human hand."

"Hey that's a great idea," I said. "Only one problem. How do you get it back in your pants afterwards?"

He smiled. "No problem at all Mac," he said. "I use the tongs."