A Wife With Subtitles

Band that destroyed my hearing Rudy - Supertramp.

I spent most of today trying to work out what my wife was saying to me.
What I really need is a wife with subtitles.

Not only did she have yesterday off but it now transpires that she has today, Tuesday and Wednesday off.
I'll have to go and buy one of those bull-horn thingies or we aren't going to manage much in the way of conversation. At least if I get her a loud hailer the neighbours will be able to come round and explain what Mrs B has just said to me.
She's off somewhere or other on Wednesday for the rest of the week so that rules out further conversation problems.
This morning we had a long drawn out and very complicated chat about horses -

"Mmm mmm son riding lessons mmm the car park in Aberdeen."
"Which car park was that?"
"Mmm mmmm Duthie Park in Aberdeen mmm."
"What about the Duthie Park car park?"
"I said that I got as far as the camber."
"What's wrong with the camber in the Duthie Park car park? What you're saying doesn't make much sense to me."
"First you trop, then you camber mmm then you mmm to the gallop."
I was trying very hard to make sense of this but I had to give up in the end.
"Ok. I got, son and Duthie Park, I got car park, I got camber and I got gallop but the rest doesn't make any sense to me at all."

She explained to me very patiently that she hadn't said 'car park'. It was Duthie Park where she had had some riding lessons so I could forget all about a car park. I forgot the car park and she explained that riding lessons started with a trot, not a 'trop', then progressed to the 'camber', better known as a canter and finally moved on to a gallop which is what she apparently failed to master.
Yes - a wife with subtitles would certainly help.

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