Happy Birthday Mum

Track of the day Rationale - Nerve Engine.

No not her majesty the Queen, who has more birthdays and parties a year than I have hot dinners, but Mrs B of Bogsville Heights.

In a romantic fit of generosity I bought her a portable DAB radio so that I can listen to test match cricket in the garden uninterrupted by the shipping forecast.

She was naturally 'thrilled to bits' and immediately disappeared round the front of the house to tinker with some pansies. Is it politically acceptable to use the word pansy these days? Anyway, not being one for tinkering with pansies I stayed out back testing her present. Bliss.

World Cup Tip

Beware teams with players who wear white boots. Players with white boots not only look stupid but also fall over a lot.

The boots they should all wear are these 1954 hobnails as worn at Wembley by the then England skipper, Billy Wright. You wouldn't have caught him in a pair of white slippers even after he retired. And from the health and safety angle his metatarsals were as safe as the Rock of Gibralter under those big toecaps.

Shock horror

The Hole in the Ground bar has become a gay hangout. No wonder the women weren't impressed. Note to the guy with the glasses and bald head - you are wasting your time!

In addition USA drew with Italy! Come on guys, one of the objectives is to end up with 11 men a side on the pitch.