A Big One

Track of the day Robot Car Song - Ceiling.

I was expecting a package to be delivered by UPS. The guy arrived, rang the bell and pushed one of those 'we called but you were out' cards through the door.

I wasn't out I was out back with the windows open, hearing aid plugged in and switched on for a change. I'd even fitted a new battery.
It's totally useless. I'd be better off with a big one like the one in the picture.
I heard nothing but the sound of the wind in next door's black poplar tree.

Dog was in the kitchen but he's stone deaf too. Tomorrow I'll sit by the front door all day.

Total disaster

I might just as well have stayed in bed today. After the fiasco with the delivery man, I decided to make some bread and gloss paint an outside door and window.

I forgot to take the bread out of the oven and the wind came up just after I'd finished painting. End result, two blackened loaves that King Alfred would have been proud of and a door and window frame that are covered in grit and little insects. The Hole in the Ground bar also now known as the Wanton Sailor will probably have run out of beer when I get there. Either that or some eighteen stone gay biker will decide he wants to adopt me.

The last time I was in there I made the mistake of pointing out that there weren't many women in the bar. The expression on the barman's face could best be described as blank. Anyone know where I can get a hearing aid like the one in the picture?