Digital Hearing Aids

Wednesday

My wife's father has a digital hearing aid. It's stuffed full of the latest technology and enables him to hear perfectly. During one of her recent trips North to visit him he asked her to wind up his carriage clock.

"That's better," he said from the other side of the room, "I can hear it ticking now."

"You can hear it ticking from right over there?" she asked.

"Pardon?"

Oh well - it almost enables him to hear perfectly.

Hole In The Ground

There was guy in the bar last Monday. I noticed because he had a woman with him. We don't often see a woman in the Hole In The Ground so it tends to stick in your memory.

This guy also had a red jacket that made him look like he had escaped from a holiday camp or had parked a coach outside. I think he was just in lurv and had dressed to impress. He almost managed it.

Years ago I had a black jacket with my university's badge on the breast pocket. How cool was that? Anyway one night I was drinking with some lady or other and eventually had to go to the men's room to create space for more drinks.

I was standing there, concentrating on the job in hand when the guy in the next stall spoke to me. I looked round and saw that he was wearing a jacket just like mine except that the badge was different.

"Who are you driving for?" he said. "I've been driving coaches a long time but I don't recognise your badge."

I cut the badge off the pocket. It's in a drawer somewhere.

Jazz organist Jimmy Smith has died.