Bonking in Britain OK

Wednesday.

Bonking in Britain now has the official backing of the Government and there are people in the UK who are so desperate to get bonked that they break into houses to get it.

In the UK bonking used to mean having sex. Nowadays it's more to do with biffing, wacking, thumping, shooting or stabbing with a bit of crash-tackling thrown in. All the sorts of pastimes that Brits enjoy on Friday and Saturday nights.

If you're an ex-Navy Seal you just might survive a fun vacation over there.

I'm not sure which is more off-putting - the dangers of bonking the women there, the dangers of refusing to bonk the women there or the apparent need to bonk burglars as well.

The UK used to be full of strange but harmless people who went around in Bowler hats, shaking hands with everyone and saying things like, "How jolly" and "Toodle pip old chap".

Now it seems Brits are sleeping with bats, knives and guns - if they've got them, to teach those jolly old burglars a jolly good lesson by giving them a jolly good bonk before saying, "Toodle pip" and handing them over to the local law.

Bonking burglars has been certified as safe by the CPS.

Useful UK Gov Tip

How To Build An Emergency Desalination Plant

Reassuring item!

Here's another useful tip from Bonk mad Britain - this time from Harley Medical. This morning their News and Press section only contained one item. It isn't there now. It appeared to be from NewWoman magazine.

It claimed to be for women who want their boyfriends rebuilt.

The full works would cost from around £32,000 but he would get Johnny Depp hair (well an implant of around 12 hairs for around £12,000), Jude's square jaw, Brad Pitt pecs (£7,000 a pair), Freddie's packet, Orlando's Butt and Beck's legs and Johnny W's six-pack!

By the time he'd had all that done he'd be in too much pain to bother about you lady.

If he's really that much of a wreck, do him a favour and wait for a burglar.

To relax go here preferably in a new window - press ctrl and the link - and enjoy Ron Carter.